We all cope in different ways to devastating news
We all have our own coping mechanisms when it comes to coping with various devasting blows, dealt us during our lifetime. Although we may not all have the exact same reactions to this there are similarities.
The HIV 5 stages of grief
The shock of getting the diagnosis is a surreal experience. Suddenly all the times you have sympathized with someone looked at someone struggling with an affliction and thought that poor person is happening to you. You think it cannot be real, surely this is not happening, you go numb, shut down some people even push it to the back of their mind. The shock and denial help the body cope with the news, they help you to carry on and filter in as much as you can take. You feel somehow isolated as it is not happening to another person it is happening you!
You will feel many a turmoil of emotions when you hit the anger stage. You will look for someone or something to put the blame on. You need an outlet to direct all the hurt, pain and anger on. There has to be a reason this is happening to you, so you will lash out a person, society and anything that relates to what is happening to you. Sometimes a person gets angry about silly little things that do not relate to what is happening to them at all. As long as you are open to others embrace your anger and ride that wave of the grief stage.
The third stage of grief is often associated with guilt, what ifs and I would do anything to change things.This stage is the one where we wish we could back in time do things differently, we start questioning things around us and plead with anyone we can to get another outcome to our current situation.
Suddenly we realize there is nothing we can do to change that outcome. This is happening to us and that last little vestige of hope we had started to flicker out. We realize this was not a dream and there is not getting out of what is happening to us. We are hit with a huge tidal wave of grief and all the pain, fear and anger turns into depression.
You want to say you are ok, all right or fine but the fact is you are not and probably never will be again. This stage of the grief is when you start to realize you have two options to give up or fight as best as you can and do what you can to conquer this disease. There is always hope, that light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long the tunnel may be. With today’s technology and scientific breakthroughs, we are well on the road to finding that elusive cure.
It is one of the hardest things to go through, but humans are resilient and tend to be able to dig deep into their reserves of sheer willpower. This alone goes a long way in the fight against the disease. There are many support groups to help you every step of the way and no matter what you think we all need help at some stage in our lives.